Things I don't like about Hart of Dixie

• That we are supposed to believe anyone talks like these people
• That we are supposed to believe Jaime King is under 30. Sure, it's not uncommon for a woman of 33 to play someone in her 20s, but there is nothing youthful about the face of Lemon Breeland. 
• Everything about Lemon Breeland, except her sparkly cardigans, which are awesome. 
• Jaime King's utterly absurd Southern accent
• The character of Lemon Breeland, especially everything she says and how she looks, except for some of her outfits
• That we are supposed to believe anyone would love Lemon Breeland.
• Another problem with Hart of Dixie is that I keep watching it. That might be the heart of the Hart of Dixie issues, actually.
• I do like Rachel Bilson. I can't help it. She's so cute and spunky and she has such nice outfits all of the time. 
• Some people, myself included, insist that lists should be parallel. I think this list demonstrates that is not always true. 

The Buffening*

The past 18 months have not been kind to Bill and I's waistlines-- death, illnesses, the earning of master's degrees and associated academic stress, and so on.

Since we are to be married in 181 days (or at least, so claims Wedding Wire), we must refine our physiques. Bill will probably eat one less cookie a day and drop 10 pounds in a week; I will be embarking again on the Sonoma Diet, and blogging about it here.

*Sadly, not the buffet-ing that Wendy thought we were venturing on. Though really, aren't all buffets disappointments? Except, hopefully, our wedding buffet.

The last 30 days

In reverse chronological order:

1. I turned 30.
2. I went to a wedding in St. Louis.
3. My mom had a lumpectomy, which went well. Next will probably be some radiation and then hopefully we will hear no more from this cancer.
4. I started a new job at my old employer. And I got my own office. With a door (but no windows...).
5. I went to a wedding in Las Vegas.
6. I started teaching freshman comp at the university where I recently completed my master's.
7. I flew to Salt Lake City for 36 hours to see my grandfather.
8. Bill started teaching. 
9. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
10. My 94 year-old grandfather's health took a significant turn for the worse. 
11. Bill and I went to San Francisco for the Stein exhibits at SFMOMA and the Contemporary Jewish Museum.

Here's hoping the next month 30 days are a little less eventful (I haven't watched a teen drama for weeks!). But hooray for weddings and birthdays and museums and new jobs at museums. And especially hooray for good friends and fiances.

DIY Success!

I have successfully replicated an internet DIY project. While I have had much success with following cooking instructions on the internet, I have not attempted craft projects of any kind.

While some might argue that toenail painting is, in fact, not a craft project, I will respectfully disagree. Toenail painting is painting on a small, wiggly surface. To someone so remedial in the finer motor skills, to someone who was forced to practice her cursive S's in the hallway because she could not slant them like her other letters, this is an enormous accomplishment.

This morning, I encountered this DIY tutorial via the Martha Stewart Weddings Twitter. This weekend I thought often that I should change my toenail polish, so, this being a Monday morning of underemployment, I decided to listen to some tunes and go at it. I have to be honest, my little piggies look pretty sweet. Thus, I offer to you their likeness.

I won't even tell you how much time I spent running around my apartment figuring out the best place to capture them via cell phone camera. And, OK, I know I colored a bit outside of the lines, but I think this bodes well for future wedding-related crafts.

Yikes

If it's not bad enough that I've spent much of the summer catching up on the oeuvre of ABC Family and the CW, now, while watching Switched at Birth, I've developed a crush on a teenager. And unlike my crush on the smokin' hot Tim Riggins of Friday Night Lights, this teenager is an actual teenager. Born in 1993. Like my... students? Eww. Let's not go there.

But, yes, Sean Berdy, deaf star of not-that-lame, set-in-my-hometown Switched at Birth, you are my new teen drama crush. 

Confession

I'm unemployed, and I spend my mornings checking the websites of the twenty-one places I've identified as worthy potential employers and periodically sending off a CV.

And watching Make It or Break It.

Yes. That is the teen gymnastics program on ABC Family. With Candace Cameron always yammering on about abstinence and God. But people are always doing flips! Off the uneven bars! And bouncing around on the floor like springs. I love it when people fly. Even if they are all stunt doubles. OK, and there is so much drama. And gymnastic competitions and backstabbing and everything that makes for exceptional teen programming. Except sex. Only evil rich girl is doing it and that's seemingly meant to be one of her myriad character flaws.

And before that, I watched Vampire Diaries. The whole first season went by and not a single person smiled. It was amazing.

I can't imagine what I would be doing if I had cable. Probably watching What Not to Wear.

Oh, and, I cry while watching Make It or Break It. Only a little, only sometimes.

Goals for the rest of the summer

1) Finish The Corrections. Which is tedious, but should be done. I am 3/4 of the way done, so best soldier on.
2) Develop an opinion about Miranda July.
3) Start working on my oft-declared goal of being about to do the splits by the time I am 30.
4) Lesson-plan. Which means doing some truly odious reading.
5) Run more than three miles. Not sure how long is reasonable to shoot for, but I did agree to train for a 10k with a friend of mine who recently had a baby. Since I've been running 2.5-3 miles on a regular basis for most of the summer, I decided to take the incentive to run longer. But I think running a race sounds like about the lamest thing on the planet, and since I've vowed never to trust people who tell me to add protein powder to anything, I doubt you, imagined reader, race runner, and protein-powder eater, could persuade me otherwise. Still, it is important to try the things you think you hate, even if that just means you end up more resolute in your contempt.
6) Eat more salad.
7) Do something fun that involves leaving Los Angeles. Probably after mi amor finishes his qualifying exams in August. And before I have to start the school year in mid-August. I suppose a weekend getaway is all we will be able to muster up. But maybe that will be the time to check out all the Gertrude Stein activity in SF.


OK, 7 seems like a reasonable number. I should probably come up with something wedding-related to do, but I'm not sure what that should be, so I won't think about it.