Obligatory Update

So, Halloween in a few minutes. That's cool, but what would be cooler is a job I actually like. Also, would be cooler if I or even someone else in my household was going trick or treating, because I want some 2-packs of Starburst tomorrow and I'll be hella pissed if I don't get any.
In other news, I have acquired 6 pairs of shoes since landing on American soil 5 weeks ago. All exceptional bargains, I might add. Still, I expect I may be out of control. In my defense, I purchased almost nothing during the year abroad, so I am really making up for lost time. I get my first paycheck since my return tomorrow, so it's more or less acceptable that I bought 3 pairs of shoes yesterday.
In other news, my KC ladies (otherwise known as the triple J explosion) and I are starting a book club and I am charged with the first selection. Any suggestions?

What is fun is

Cooking with hot peppers and burning your tongue and/or eyeballs up to several hours later every time they make contact with your tingly fingers.

Also, fun, a giant gold dick fountain in Amsterdam with drug dealer/ art student in the background.

Murder

It has become critical that my boss be exterminated. I don't know a hit person, so am wondering if any of my readers are interested in making a career change. I also have no money, but am willing to provide in-kind services, such as dog-walking or fish-feeding.

Vroooom

Yeah, mountains are cool, especially when they come in colors that match my blog. 3 cheers for the aus-countries and their fun citizens that rocked Estes Park with us crazy Kansans. However, driving 2500 miles over the last 3 weeks sucks. Also so does my boss.
Nevertheless, I am pretty pumped about future and entirely tentative 'great lake states' tour, including Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois. Also by default Iowa and Missouri. But that's cool, Iowa has a lot to offer.
Also I am looking forward to Showtime's promise to show the second season of the L-Word on demand soon. I love that girl-drama.

Terror before Coffee?

So, let me preface this by saying I am, generally speaking, cool with the military's existance and respect our underpaid soldiers.
That said, full fatigues, army boots, and big guns getting off my elevator at work (where, incidentally, I am all by myself) before I'm fully awake, absolutely terrifies me.
Now, likely they are here for some administrative purpose as there is some sort of Army office in the building. Why one of them had what I believe is called an 'assault rifle' as he walked by me while I was exiting the bathroom, I couldn't really say. Maybe it's show and tell at a local high school. However, the other guy leaving the elevator had only a cup of coffee.
I know some of my big city readers are no doubt used to a military presense; however, I am not.
But honestly, I think the issue for me is really more the fatigues than the big guns. Fatigues just seem Timothy McVeigh, who, in addition to being a huge dick, is (was? did they kill that ugly bastard?) a total dog. I prefer the Tom Cruise/Richard Gere full-dress thing. While it seems to be rarely sexy in practice, in the movies it always looks nice. And Richard Gere and Tom Cruise don't even do it for me. No, fatigues, particularly tucked into boots, give the impression of man-hips, which says to me "I am angry at the world for my genetic defect and thus am predisposed towards killing innocent people," whereas the dress uniform says "I am a strangely patriotic young man with a truly fantastic ass."
Now, tell me, which would you rather see at 9 in the morning?

Saturation

So yesterday I reached saturation point with the whole 'living at home' thing. With this whole having a sorta job business, and then going home, it means that I am literally never ever alone. This means that I have no tolerance for my mother's tendancy to follow me around the house, babbling about this or that. However, I am forced to continue along this path until I have enough money to pay rent and a deposit. Which the soonest that could possibly happen is the beginning of next month. That is, however, only if I decide it is unimportant to pay anything more than the minimum on credit card and student loans.
On the really exciting side of things, my Australian friend from Dublin, Alana, is arriving tonight, and I really doubt Kansas City has EVER had an Australian tourist! So I envision loads of free drinks and free food, and when we drive to Colorado on Friday, I anticipate her charming accent getting us out at least one speeding ticket. Also, I will probably have to make her wrestle a mountain lion, just for fun.

Yeah, Foliage, Yeah

So, an exciting weekend spent in lovely Galesburg, Illinois. Not nearly as exciting, though certainly exciting, was the prettiness of Iowa, Missouri, and Illinois. Driving across the Midwest reminds me of how much I love it. Sure, there is a lot of shittiness, and I'd pretty much rather die than live in these small towns that I admire so much aesthetically, but man, I love to look. The hills, barns, cornfields, and this time of year, pretty pretty foliage makes me awfully happy, especially when accompanied by some Stephin Merritt and Yo La Tengo. Three cheers for Long Vermont Roads and Autumn Sweaters. But I was sad that I couldn't think of any midwestern bands that waxed nostalgic about the midwest, although I have to say I get a little misty every time Stephin Merritt sings 'your eyes are kansas city, one in kansas and missouri' (or something like that, quoting is not my strong suit). Surely there must be some that I just couldn't think of at the moment, or maybe I was unable to stop myself from choosing any number of the Merritt bands, which tends to happen when I'm on the road for more than 20 minutes.
So last weekend I headed north on I-29 to family in Lincoln, Nebraska. This past weekend, I-35 followed by US-34 (my fave) to Galesburg, and next weekend, I-70 to Estes Park, Colorado.
Three cheers to roadside produce stands, and Sprite and Hostess Cupcakes from the Chariton, Iowa BP.

The Nerve!!!

When did the New York Times add this TimeSelect bullshit? It is bad enough that older articles cost money, now this! You have to be a member to read a damned editorial? 50 bucks a year to read a bunch of our nation's intellectual elite bitch about the Bush administration? Don't get me wrong, Maureen Dowd and Frank Rich seem cool and all, but I can't think of the last time I read an editorial that expressed a particularly unique opinion. Really, all editorials tend to do is make me hate my fellow liberals for their ineffectiveness and baby-boomer mentality. Also I don't know what I mean by baby-boomer mentality but consider it a scathing remark.

Soupy and the Banshees

I like soup, so I am going to make some in a few minutes. But in the meantime, I thought I would post in my blog even though I've got nothing of note to say. However, after I get done making soup, I am going to eat it, duh, then go play poker at a bar! But don't worry, not at a casino because I got no dough and also because I am afraid of playing poker in the special room. Also I am afraid of losing money. Really afraid of that in fact. My combined losses at the Ameristar casino in Kansas City total $43. The first time I lost 10 dollars at blackjack and 10 on the penny slots, which takes much less time than you would think. The second time, 15 on blackjack and 8 on the penny slots.
I was going to conclude with something like, but man, if you could play blank for money, I'd be rolling in the dough, but then it occurred to me that there is no game for the blank. Despite the fact that I like games and am always willing to play them (except Monopoly which really freaking blows), I am not very good at them. I think this demonstrates that I have a great spirit and a damn fine nature, not to mention my ass in the jeans I am using to cover it.

Nebraska football

So yesterday I attended a Cornhuskers game in Lincoln. Those of you that know me know I am not at all interested in football; however, my mother (a Nebraska native) felt this was an essential cultural experience for our Belgian exchange student. Nevermind that I have never attended a Nebraska game in my life.
While watching the game, I discovered a few things. Mainly, football is really dull. However, as I watched I began to understand a few things. Primarily, why I find football so boring. Previously, I thought I had no appreciation for the game because I never played it as a child. I played soccer, basketball, softball, and volleyball. This is also the list of sports I find worthwhile entertainment. But it turns out I find football unbearable because the game stops literally every 5-10 seconds, and this is meant to please the crowd. When the bad guys have the ball, the crowd goes wild when nothing seems to be happening. They are pleased when the bad guys are unable to advance a yard. This makes for an excrutiatingly dull game. At the beginning, I felt inclined to cheer for a tackle that occured after a nice long run, whereas my co-spectators found this an opportunity to groan and make disparaging remarks. They went wild when nothing seemed to be happening and it was impossible to figure out where the hell the ball was. That is when I realized I now officially understand football and think it is dead boring.
However, it was exciting to see 75K people wearing red. I too wore red, but it was a Knox hoodie and a pair of kick ass sneakers. Still, damn glad I went with red.
Incidentally, Knox friends, will any of you be attending homecoming? I sure will be! But I will probably not elect to go to the football game.

What do to with stuff?

Notes passed in the 8th grade, mix tapes lovingly made in the 10th, graduation announcements from high school, college, graduate school. Old purses, favorite shoes, worn out tee shirts. Jewel cases for long-lost cds, marker sets, negatives, and so many books. How on earth can I hope to be an adult in a room I've lived in, off and on, for 15 years? What does one DO with this stuff? How can I possibly throw away an empassioned treastise from Colleen on how Jeff is such an asshole and no one will ever love him, even though I haven't spoken to Colleen in about 10 years and I have no idea who Jeff is? Or even more humiliating notes from friends I still have and read this blog so I will not spill the details on their secret crushes from years past.
There are compelling reasons to get rid of all these things, but I am more compelled to keep them. But something has got to go, as I have no space, and though I don't know how long I am going to live in my bedroom, I still need to turn it into a room with more than just overflowing boxes stashed in every corner. Any suggestions how to do this without getting rid of my most treasured memories?

Ay yi yi

Is that how that's spelled?
So yesterday I exercized deliberately for the first time in over a year. After a week of lying on the couch, eating, and drinking, I decided that if I wanted to continue to fit in the clothes my mother has been kind enough to buy me these past few days, I had better find a more effective way to burn calories than scooping ice cream into a bowl (which can be quite strenuous!). I decided to go running, literally the first time in well over a year not counting the occasional chasing after a bus in Ireland. Foolishly, I took my dog, who is still significantly faster than me, but worse, is significantly more interested than breaking far faster than I can and climbing up trees. Nevertheless, I managed to last for over a mile (non-stop!), which may not sound like much, but is damn good for the first day out. And it is HARD to keep hold of a dog!
Nevertheless, today has been pretty painful.
However, my interview went fairly well, probably because Bill bought me some sexy sexy shoes today that I wore. Red, Kenneth Cole round-toe pumps. They don't get much better. But don't worry, they were on clearance at a new discount shoe store, so mega-bargain. Bill might be nice, but I'm sure he doesn't love me full-price. So, I think I stand a good chance of getting the job but don't have my heart set either way, probably because I have another interview lined up as a grant writer with UMKC, which pays better so I like that. Also I might get to take free classes in the evenings and learn something useful.
So, I am stronger than I thought, I have sexy shoes, and surely someone will give me a job soon.

Humiliation + Interview, whee

So today, like most days this week, I applied for a job! Several jobs in fact. But on one of the cover letters of one of the jobs I applied for, I made an egregious error. I wrote: Through a variety of customer service roles and my honors degree in English literate, I have developed superb written and oral communication skills.
Incidentally, I'm not sure if I used egregious correctly up there. But I know my charm will see me through. Also, please note that the italics are for your reading convenience.
In any case, of course I noticed this after sending the email. So of course I panicked. But then I wrote the lady back and said that I hoped she had a laugh, and not to hold it against me. And guess what happened, not even 10 minutes after I sent my follow up email! I got an interview! So I could be an 'information specialist' at a public health non-profit!
I am very pleased to have my first interview set up at a place I would actually want to work, despite my humiliating mistake.