ohfunboringnessblah.

I know I need to update my blog, because it feels like time, and I just have no excuse.

I have been doing a lot of entertaining at my lovely Roeland Park abode, and my futon, I can now report, has been slept on by multiple people. Having visitors is way funner than not, since it means drinking more and eating out, two oft-forgotten pleasures. Also, good company!

In other news, I completed two books in as many days (though one I had been working on for a while). First, The Devil Wears Prada, which blew. A lot of you are probably like, what, ruth, could you have been thinking? Well, I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking that Bridget Jones's Diary is hysterical, and it's summer, and one can only keep up this cultural elitism in 100 degree heat for so long. I also thought that since my coworker wanted me to read it, I had to. Now, reading DWP was worse than the Da Vinci Code fiasco, where I also succumbed to pressure, not only from friends, but also my internal "i am such an effing snob that i can't deign to read this bestselling novel" barometer.

Actually, there was nothing fiasco-worthy about the Da Vinci Code. I found it acceptably enjoyable, and it allowed me to rather snobbishly relive my French and Italian travels.

The DWP, though, was unpardonably awful and truly stupid. My mother has been pressuring me to go see the movie with her, which I may consider doing but only because I love air conditioning and popcorn. But before I do that, well, I need to watch La Dolce Vita which I received by mail yesterday. And then probably hear about why Fellini isn't all he's cracked up to be from my smarty-pants boyfriend, who is kinda famous now.

Sincerely yours,

Ms. Snotty-pants

P.S. The other book I finished was not the Da Vinci Code, which I read after it had only been on the best seller list for a year or so. So like, 2004 maybe. Anyway, I read Peter Orner's new book, The Second Coming of Mavala Shikongo, which I found moderately excellent. In any case, here's hoping Orner can parlay the Brangelina-Namibia craze into bestsellerhood, as his book is set in Namibia.

Show me yours.

I've heard from several friends about how they find my 'desk' picture fascinating, since you never get to see where your friends actually work. Because of this, and because of my embarrassingly dull previous blog entry, I have decided to share this with you. To the right of what's pictured is a virtually identical desk, where sits my computer and thus me. If I look to the left, well, right now, that is exactly what I see.
So let's dialogue on this point. Where do we pass the bulk of our days? How about a little office voyeurism?

oldness

sometimes, when i check my email first thing in the morning at work, i am sad about how i send emails to my friends and vice-versa before 10 in the morning. I remember back in the day when an email sent before 10 would trigger 'what are you doing up so early?' and was misty-eyed about it.
the saddest part is, due to proximity to my work and general indifference to personal hygiene, i probably get up wayy later than many of you. i am worried both of these things will have to change in LA, and then i will become part of the crowd who wakes up in the sixes.

For those that have wondered what my boyfriend looks like...

well, it sure isn't this!
anyway, we have haircuts.
bill may be mad because he turns 25 on Friday!

Goodbye, Koen.

Koen, my mom's exchange student, left us today. Back to Belgium. To a continent with no Chipotles. *sniff*

Finally, a British invasion worth its salt!!!

Topshop comes to Manhattan!!!

Maybe I've had too much coffee this morning, but I am quivering with excitement about this news.

Please, retail gods, tell me that Los Angeles is next.

Cranky Grr.

"Ruth, you're so well-traveled. Where would you stay, the Best Western or the Holiday Inn?"


I hate people. And interacting.

Either bring me Oreos or go away.

Nothing could possibly make me happy besides transfat today.

Bullets

Things that are cool:

• Car radios.
• Sangria.
• Sleep.
• Stuff that grows.
• Skype.
  

Things that are not cool:

• Hangovers.
• Sticky countertops.
  
• Plagiarism.
  
• Broken can openers and exploding tuna fish.
  

Kansas! Cows!

Sometimes I like to think Kansas City is a cosmopolitan city and that we Kansans don't deserve the hard time given to us by the rest of the world. Other times, there are cows at my bank parking lot, for the neighboring suburb's annual cattle drive.

My new camera, my first tomato

Summertime

OK, I am happy that it is summer, but these longer days are reminding me of how little I have to do. It was one thing thing spend whole evenings doing nothing when it was dark out, but quite another to spend whole evenings doing nothing when it's sunny.
I have developed a few new hobbies, namely, growing stuff. I have some pots now in which things grow! Namely, tomatoes! Chives! Basil! Cilantro! The chives and cilantro I am bravely growing from seed (organic seed to boot!) and seem to be doing well, particularly the cilantro. And my tomato plants have produced, thus far, two teenytiny tomatoes! They are green and look extremely untasty, but, we will wait and see! Because that's what gardening is all about! I love my plants, but so far, they seem fairly self-sufficient (except that one purple basil plant that died instantly *sigh* there is a lot of heartbreak associated with growing stuff). So, not much to do there... And I did order my camera, but FedEx says I can't have it until Thursday!!!
Instead, I need a fun-plan. I think that I should have a visitor. No one has slept on our futon, except my jerk boyfriend when he left me to die with the flu in our bed. That's sad, because we've lived in our apartment since December 31st!
If I had a visitor, I would take care of you like my two tomato plants, or my cilantro. Whichever you prefer. Also, like the sweet basil, but not like the purple basil, which died. And you would entertain me more than the chives, who have done shit!
We could go to a baseball game, which will probably be disappointing, but only if we root for the Royals. I will, but you don't have to. No one else does. And I guarantee you, it's a lot cheaper to go see the Royals than to see your local team. $5 buys a whole section these days!
We could look at fountains, of which there are tons! You may recognize some of them from your travels in Seville or Rome.
I will take you to some of my favorite places, like 91st & Metcalf, where there is a Chipotle, TJ Maxx and Marshalls! Sure, you can probably do that at home, but where have you seen a TJ Maxx & Marshalls across the street from each other before!
I can also take you to my favorite barbeque place, the Bob-Be-Que! It's delicious. Of course, if you don't eat meat, we can go somewhere else! Kansas City has tons of delicious vegetarian fare, now that Burger King offers a veggie burger, anyway.
In short, you should come to visit me in Kansas City, before I flee in August. I am a really awesome hostess. We can have basil and tomatoes from my garden, with the finest mozzeralla available...

Digital Camera Envy etc

Dear friends who know SO MUCH STUFF!
I am in the market for a digital camera. I have more or less narrowed it down to these three choices, although I reserve the right to add to this list at any given point.
I am fairly settled on the superzoom, as I think I would enjoy its capabilities. However, I am open to arguments about why I should get something smaller & with less zoom. I am, however, settled on not getting an SLR.
Here are the major differences, as I see them.

• The Panasonic Lumix has a hot shoe, which could be very exciting. The model I am looking out has been replaced with a less positively reviewed model, which means the one I am interested in is cheaper, but also, older.
  
• The Fujifilm Finepix does not have stabilization, which is bad. It's the cheapest of the bunch, though only slightly.
  
• The Canon S2 IS is a Canon, which makes me like it a little bit more than the others. Features-wise, it's in-between the other two, but does have 12x optical zoom as opposed to 10x. I'm not sure how much difference I think that would make to me.
  

I am also open to suggestions of similar cameras. I didn't see any Nikons or Olympuses that particularly impressed me, but again, I'm open. I invite your commentary and advice. Indeed, I beg for it.

Indecisively yours,
Ruth

Oh, boo hiss.

Fuck you, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Kansas City and my $32.20 birth control. I'll show you where the money is when I stop taking it and you pay for my thousands of dollars pregnancy. I hate you, the man.

Ugh.

This article is insanely stupid. It's written like an undergraduate application essay. I can't believe that trite twit gets to have a book and write for the New York Times.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I have a massive crush on my library. This concept of finding books & movies online, placing holds, then getting an email a few days later announcing their arrival to my particular branch is absolutely brilliant. Of course, there is something to be said for browsing, but the convenience of this online business really trumps all.
That said, there are dangers to library use vs. simply buying online.
I have a variety of books & movies on hold. Some are fine literature and foreign films, others are self-help books and horror flicks. Usually, the holds that come in are a mix, which, I feel, speaks to my eclecticness and lack of artifice.
However, Friday I came in to collect several holds: What color is your parachute?; Refuse to choose! : a revolutionary program for doing everything that you love; Jobs for English majors and other smart people; Do what you love, the money will follow : discovering your right livelihood; Saw. OK. I've mentioned in previous posts that I am uncertain as to what to do with my life, and, as for the self-help genre, I found Suze Orman's Young Fabulous & Broke to be rather helpful, and two books on law school & lawyerness convinced me that I should never take that path...
So. I had hoped to collect these books rather anonymously. There is one librarian under 40 in my local library, a cute blond girl probably in her late 20s. She, plus one of the octogenarians, were at the checkout counter. I kept my fingers crossed (literally) that hipster girl would not be my checkout girl.
Alas, she was. So, I present my card, she scans, makes a face. Says "is your dad a teacher?" I confirm, she says "what's his name?" (Note: I feel her obligation would be to say something to the effect here of: "is he mr. yourlastname?" or "does he teach at blank?" or "does he teach orchestra?" rather than asking his name, but whatever). Anyway, she confirmed that he was her teacher, she recalls me as a smaller girl, etc, etc. Then she gives me my books and I am forever embarassed.
Incidentally, I haven't looked at my self-help books yet (being too involved with literary fiction (Our kind : a novel by Kate Walbert, my new issue of Bust magazine, and ok, the Gilmore Girls), but my roommate, Julie (yes, I am outing you too) has looked through Parachute & one other, and confirms that Parachute is a christian book! Jeez.

high school

Well, I spent a significant portion of my past weekend at my high school alma mater, supporting my small brothers in various activities. Some commentary:

• Those bitches have more expensive jeans than me, and fancier hair too. I consoled myself with the fact that they no doubt can't use a semi-colon to save their life.
• I tried to take comfort in the fact that I can hold my liquor better, but then realized that honestly, my tolerance has never surpassed my 12th grade drinking abilities.
• I also tried to take comfort in the fact I was definitely cooler than them, and contemplated pointing out that I was 'rude' when they were toddlers, and listened to Belle & Sebastian when they were rocking out to Raffi. Then I wondered if Belle & Sebastian are still cool, and started feeling bad about what little attention I pay to new music.
• I saw a tween in a Killers shirt this weekend. I bought a Killers CD a few months ago. I can't say I've succeeded in getting into it. I know that some of my cooler friends like them a lot, so I am still trying. But given the choice of NPR or the Killers, I'll take NPR.
• I also saw several kids in Grateful Dead/DMB/Phish shirts & cargo shorts from Abercrombie. I took a great deal of comfort in their existence, because in high school I scorned them, and it appears they are filling the same purpose as before, so I scorned again.
• Of course, I did all this from the awkward vantage point of adult sibling, which was a little embarassing, particularly at the battle of the bands, where both of my brothers's competed.
• For instance, there were beach balls bouncing around. I really wasn't sure whether or not I should ensure that they continue to bop around, or if I should just let them fall when they approached me. Usually I hit them, but went to no great lengths to do so. I considered this to be 'nonchalant.'
• I am a firm believer in dancing at live music performances. However, I didn't want to attract undue attention, so settled for head bopping towards the back.
• Also, on my brothers' bands. Littlest brother plays ska. He's 16. I think I outgrew ska completely by then. I do remember driving to ska shows, but I also remember seeing Dub Narcotic that year, so 16 was clearly an age of musical transition for me. Bigger brother plays, like, frat boy funk-blues. Yikes.
• I can't believe those girls all had on more expensive jeans than me. Maybe I'm not prioritizing my spending properly.

See you next Tuesday.

I have been saying and writing that all day. Now I am embarassed, because, as we all know, C U Next Tuesday means cunt. But we are having a workshop... next tuesday, so I keep repeating that. Whoops. I am so vulgar. It would be awesome if I could just say, "Thanks for registering, c.u.n.t." instead. That would be hysterical.
In any case, I can't find any information on protests today in Kansas City. I would like to lend my support to the immigrant community. I am pretty disgusted with much of the commentary coming out of the immigration debates. The nastiness of really, the majority, is just so troubling.

Fulfillment

Well, my vileboss is gone 4eva, and my work life is both satisfying and busy. So, I am disinterested in updating on a regular basis, much like the people who make up the Js of my 'friends list.' What is with you, middle section?
I have no antics of evil to describe, nor have I done anything remotely exciting in the last few weeks. My grandfather has been in town and his hearing isn't the greatest, so I have done lots of yelling, which, ordinarily forms a part of 'excitement' but does not in this case.
The news, usually bloggably-rich, seems dull. Whereas I used to fill hours of my day reading various newspapers, now, a quick skim of the nytimes front page & most emailed sates me. And I haven't seen a movie worth commenting on in ages (although I do have both a streetcar named desire and the taste of others at home lined up for this weekend), though I have begun watching the first season of Arrested Development & Grey's Anatomy. As the one episode I watched previously suggested, Arrested Development is 4X funnier than everyone said. Buster, I love you.
And Grey's Anatomy, while enjoyable, is a hospital drama which is toxic for me as I tend to cry each and every time someone dies, could die, or talks about dying. So, kinda high-risk behavior for me.
I suppose the biggest news is that I paid my outstanding library fine from high school ($44.50--not bad!) and am now able to use the library again. And I tell you, I love the library! Indeed, it is they who have supplied me with the first season of Arrested Development & A Streetcar Named Desire, as well as assorted other works of fiction and law school-focused books. I just finished "A woman's guide to law school' which has partially convinced me that law school is for chumps and i would rather die than be a lawyer. Now I am taking a break with Zadie Smith's Autograph Man, which 25 pages in (which is probably 5%), seems that it will be acceptably engrossing but not as enjoyable as White Teeth. Anyway, I am pretty excited to be restored to the good graces of my library.

While I doubt that anyone actually reads my blog with the mind to keep up on the banalities of my life, I nevertheless feel compelled to update about them from time to time.

• The executive board unceremoniously told my boss that her resignation would be effective Monday (that's two days past now), not the end of April as previously planned. Such elation.
• Except, unfortunately, I spent Monday and much of the weekend ravaged by influenza. I have since recovered, but the experience was extremely unpretty. Conversely, I think it may have been slenderizing, so all was not lost.
• Yesterday, I became an advanced user of Microsoft Access under the tutelage of an extremely dull man. I have since managed to completely fuck up our work databases in ways that I had previously never even dreamed.
• I have begun to prepare to take the LSAT.
• Unsurprisingly, in light of the above announcement, I have continued to talk myself out of tattooing and have made no moves to ink umbrellas or any other water-repellent on my body.
• I ate a cookie that has been sitting in the "kitchen" of my work since Friday. It wasn't bad.

Oh, pretty please, die

My fuckwit boss just set a fire in our microwave. Apparently, she doesn't bother with the timer feature and just cranks it all the way up. You know those fancy-schmancy organic veggie dishes? Amy's, I believe? Yeah, toxic when microwaved past the recommended guidelines. My boss, being responsible for absolutely nothing, used the opportunity to complain about the lack of adequate fire alarms in our building. Then you know, she went in her office and shut the door, leaving me to enhale the no doubt deadly fumes.
As many of you know, my vileboss has resigned and will cease tormenting me with her thoughtlessness, extremely poor social skills and rampant neuroses in a few (not nearly few enough) weeks. I can't wait. Because otherwise, die.