Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Dress-up

Today, I started yet another new temp job (this time for a law firm--busy and easy, with internet, my fave, everyone's nice, in the city centre, blah blah, sadly just for 3 days). As one does when one starts a new temp job (for the uninitiated and thus, unsuffered), one wears a suit. Thus, I am wearing my suit (my fairly cute suit that I bought in the after Christmas sales in London--it's a bit wintry, but it's not the least bit summery today anyhow so who gives a fuck?). In any case, whenever I wear a suit, I just feel like such an impostor. I feel like a dorky penguin girl. And it's like I feel suits are for squares, I see girls my age wearing suits, and I'm like, show'em sister. I want to be a cool suit girl, and not feel like I'm dressed up like my mother.
This brings me to my second point. My advanced age. As you may know, my sugarplum is turning two dozen tomorrow. Ancient. I will follow in September. I'm not entirely comfortable (or really, at all comfortable) with my age transformation.
For example, Sunday, we had a barbeque. My flatmates invited their friends, etc, Bill and I invited our two friends, respectively, mine couldn't come, but Bill's brought extras so, fine. In any case, my flatmate Niaomh (rhymes with Eve), who is doing her Ph.D. introduces me to her 'friend,' a sociology professor. So I talk to him for a bit, waiting for him to do something professorly, like, I don't know, ask about my classes or something, until I realized that, in this new post-college world, we are peers. And indeed, I even have the option of looking down on him for living in the posh world of acedemia whereas I have a real job and actually work for a living.
I mean, can you imagine? Looking down on professors? I have this option now, and not even in the collegiate way of oh, poor professor thinks it's ok to wear socks with sandals...
Like going out to dinner as friends with a 40 year old. Maybe this is all very redundant, and maybe I should have figured this out years ago, but I literally just can't handle it.
I need to go back to school as to narrow my place in the world.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Going back to school won't help. You be in school with people who have kids, even if you just got out of college with a big C (as in Animal House College, like on thise shirts). It really is all over.

ruth said...

who is this anonymous doomsayer? all i want is my youth back...