hip hood

Bill & I's neighborhood made the New York Times! We are so totally cool (if too poor to eat at the restaurants featured... but we walk by them all the time!)...

In Culver City, Calif., Art and Food Turn a Nowhere Into a Somewhere

$52 feminism

California NOW, why do you make your awesome feminist hoodie so expensive??? It's so much cuter than any other hoodie I have ever seen. I have wanted you for over a year now, but at $52 the chance of me ever buying you is slim to none.

I know that a reasonably crafty person could buy some fuzzy letters and brown hoodies and construct a near-identical sweatshirt, but I am not reasonably crafty.

$52 is the equivalent to half a day's work, roughly 1/25 of my rent. Obviously, not something I can part with lightly. But that's not even the real issue, which is, why a hoodie would cost $52 in the first place! Sweatshop-free & USA-made, OK, but come on! This is totally a for-profit hoodie. I mean, American Apparel's retail of their basic men's hoodie is $41. However, I have determined that their wholesale price is roughly 25% of their retail price, making the approximate cost $10. I appreciate that there are printing, administrative, etc costs and that NOW also likely uses the sale of their products to raise money. However, $30-40 is surely fair. My $30/annual donation should surely get me a hoodie-hookup...


Note: Friends, family, gift-givers-- don't take this as a buy-me plea. I scorn $52 hoodies.

oh, the sickness!

i have the flu.

i had to go home sick from work, which would be cool, except i don't have sick leave yet. and my lame boyfriend is going to be at school until like midnight, so no one is here to take care of me!

and i had to go to the grocery store all by myself to get popsicles and seven-up. and, now that i'm home, all i want is sourdough bread.

wah wah wah.

update: i also want cheez-its.

lost the touch

so, i just sat down to draw you the most picture-worthy of things... but i couldn't do it. i fear that i've lost my touch, after probably a year or so of not drawing any pictures for my blog. perspective totally baffled me, and i felt sad about my inability to render the world as i see it, and yet, unwilling to produce the charmingly simplistic vignette i no doubt would have come up with.

i suppose this serves as a useful metaphor for lack of event in my daily life of... get this: going to work, cooking food, watching gilmore girls season six on dvd (finally! blockbuster online had totally been holding out on me), and reading about sex. the reading about sex is a relatively new development, enabled by a christmas gift i received, sex & single girls, a collection of essays written by a number of individuals very inclusively defined as 'girl' and 'single.' fascinating stuff, to be sure.

but, back to what i wished to render for you in visual form.

on my way to work today, i had the great fortune of witnessing a man drag a body from the back seat of his car in the middle of an intersection and begin either life-saving measures or unspeakable violence. obviously, traffic slowed as this atrocity went on, so, being stuck in my car, i had the opportunity to rubberneck. as i slowly drove past (the police and an ambulance had since arrived), it became apparent that this man had pulled the mother of his child out of the car and began beating her in the middle of an 8-lane intersection! I was able to ascertain the facts of this scene as he was being handcuffed and yelling "you're a liar! you can't do this to me or my child! you're going to jail."

i know. it is so awesome that they have a child.

anyway, i know violence against women is a terrible terrible thing (unless, of course, it's consensual, and, i don't know, approved by whatever governing body bdsm has. but sometimes, it's just too absurd not to entertain. just so you know, the victim was standing and more or less ok when I saw this fascinating tableau unfold before my very eyes.

finally, this is actually the third scene i've witnessed in los angeles of a man being handcuffed by the police. i don't think i'd ever seen that before.

well, i have returned from a lovely trip to kansas city, where sadly i got no snow. this may very well be my first totally snow-free winter, which i find pretty disappointing. hopefully, bill and i will get to take a mountain vacation, but no guarantees.

i must say, i thoroughly enjoyed the lack of waiting in traffic, in line, for a table, etc, that came with my kansas city visit. there is surely something to be said for relative tranquility. i also enjoyed drinking copious amounts of booze with friends. i did not enjoy flight delays, etc.

while bill was suffering with the denver fiasco, i frequently thanked the powers that be that i would be flying through balmy dallas. the powers that be, no doubt peevish about my usual lack of attention, saw fit to bring tornadoes through dallas, cancelling my own flights. so, that was a bit of a bummer.

a bit bigger of a bummer, of course, as the 3,000 us soldiers dead in iraq. a tragic headlines day when i hoped to be reading feature-y predictions about the year to come. let's hope that 2007 brings less violence.

Celebrity, etc.

Today I sold a turkey to Diana Ross.

Faye Dunaway asked me for the time.

Yesterday, I observed Kirsten Dunst to eat a chocolate from the bulk bins. Stealing a chocolate. In pink converse.

And finally, last week I saw Leonardo Di Caprio, who departed Whole Foods in a large BMW. Not a hybrid. Fraud.

In conclusion, I miss truly crappy weather.

Funnestness

Alt+Clicking at the New York Times Website.

Tips
To find reference information about the words used in this article, hold down the ALT key and click on any word, phrase or name. A new window will open with a dictionary definition or encyclopedia entry.

This is awesome. I want the whole world to be like that.

Christmas shopping, joyous new finds

Etsy is my new obsession. For those unfamiliar, it is a virtual bazaar of all things wondrous and handmade (and bargainful!). I purchased a most beautiful umbrella print, and am eagerly scouring the site around the clock for presents.
I can not begin to tell of my excitement in finding such treasures as a burnt Patti Hearse lamp, or perhaps a Derrida onesie. Look for yourselves, and, crafty friends, sell your wares!

Nasi Bungkus

Bill and I sampled Indonesian cuisine at our local Indo Cafe. It was supremely delicious, and I ate something called Nasi Bungkus. Unfortunately, I learned that Nasi Bungkus basically means wrapped rice, which so totally does not describe what I ate today.
Bill and I were also complimented on our spicy-eating, which of course, made us feel totally special.
Anyway, here is a picture of Nasi Bungkus. It is insanely cute, even if the name is pretty vulgar.

longing?

i don't know if it's because of lack of fun in my daily life, but for some reason, i am driven mad with longing for a Nintendo Wii. I just know that I have to have it.

New Experiences, bad.

For the first time in my life, I live below someone. Someone who apparently has some sort of incredibly loud menagerie, with things like stampeding antelopes and perhaps a handful of elephants. They are new to my building, and I miss the old, silent, above-me residents.
I think they now have chimpanzees jumping on some sort of trampoline. I can't be sure, but it's mighty loud.
One of the words that greatly pleases me is "misspellings." Blogger assures me that I have none.

For some reason, Bill has held off on posting on my eminent greatness as a girlfriend. I baked cinnamon bread yesterday, and, if I do say so myself, it tastes and looks just like real cinnamon bread. And, at the estimated cost of about $.50 a loaf, definitely trumps the cost of purchasing speciality bread at the grocery store. However, it is messy, and cleaning is Bill's job. Perhaps this is why he is not singing my praises to the moon or whatever.

Yes, my new hobby on my days off is "baking." It's not my preferred day off activity, as it's not as fun as drinking, shopping, etc, but it is more productive. And sadly, I have yet to acquire any friends in Los Angeles of the girl-persuasion, whom, let's be honest, are vastly preferable to friends of the heterogametic sex. Possibly this is the first time I have used the word heterogametic. I will continue to do so.

one of the things...

People from Los Angeles (by this I mean those that feel some sense of ownership in this bizarre city--which basically means anyone who has lived here longer than me) like to do this crazy bait and switch thing, where they ask you about your celebrity sightings and the joy you must take in their proximity, and then, when you express any interest at all in continuing the conversation, announce their total indifference to celebrity while recounting their own Julia Roberts sighting at Starbucks that very morning.

Of course, since virtually all of my readership lives outside of Los Angeles, I will now talk about all the celebrities I have thus far seen.

1. Guy who plays Uncle Vic on Queer as Folk.
2. Ed Begley, Jr (see a few posts ago).
   
3. Less-hot Doctor on Nip/Tuck (hotter than expected, to be sure).
4. Emily the crazy one on 90210 for one season (Christine Elise is her real name).
5. Thora Birch (on the red carpet at the AFI Film Festival).
6. Debbie Mazur (also at AFI).
7. Guy who plays John Abruzzi on Prison Break (in track pants, cheap slip-on sandals with socks, and a "Superlative Conspiracy" t-shirt). We had a passing-the-time at the check-out line conversation. I am glad that I did not make a joke about Whole Foods superlative turkeys, as I see now that Superlative Conspiracy is merely a brand.
   

In any case, I've just passed the two-month point with life in LA. So this is where I stand. The only celebrities I have recognized without assistance have been Emily from 90210 and Uncle Vic. I need to work on sharpening my eyes.

Progress

I made bagels. I'm not generally a baker, and I've never journeyed into the world of yeast, so this is a pretty big deal for me. They taste good, but don't look so pretty. I'll try again another day. They are topped with chives (from my garden), garlic, and pecorino.
Here they are:

Yes!

Congress is like, totally the Democrats' oyster. I hope they eat it raw.

Montana, cool now?

How flipping rad is it that Montana elected a musician/organic farmer to Senate?

I mean, sure, it will be like, slightly hilarious when Tester shows up for the first day with a banjo and buckwheat, but will be so much cooler than the guys who show up in sport coats and playing-it-safe Cole Haans.

It's about time you claimed your excessively large state as the kingdom of hipdom--after all, your ladies have been tucking their jeans into their boots for decades. So, Montana-- the new Vermont?

As expected, oblivious.

Today, I met my first celebrity.
As a part of my new position as "Marketing Assistant" at Whole Foods, I had the opportunity to attend a product expo, where I sampled about a million different organic products. Not only did I get a recycled wood fiber toothbrush, and a variety of new age beverages, and a whole half-pound of the divine La Tur cheese to take home, I also responded with dubious ambiguity to a celebrity's offer to demo his product in my store. To be fair, my dubiousness had nothing to do with the celebrity (whom I didn't recognize), or the product, merely my unwillingness to make a commitment as I am new to my position.

So anyway, I came home with my assortment of goodies (including some truly disgusting quinoa cookies that Bill liked, in a radical departure from his typical "more fat the better" mentality) and pointed out that the maker of "Begley's Best" looked familiar. Bill said that the name Ed Begley was familiar, so I did the whole Wikipedia thing, and alas, Ed Begley, Jr.

All the more ridiculous in my inability to recognize Mr. Begley is the fact that I have seen him in literally dozens of different shows. From Happy Days to Arrested Development, Six Feet Under to Seventh Heaven (yes, I occasionally...), Best in Show to The Smurfs, Ed Begley has been a part of my life for the past 25 years.

So, I'm sorry, Mr. Begley. Your product seems outstanding, and you were totally down-to-earth when you were offering to come to my store. I should have recognized you, and thus avoided speaking with you. And I loved you in This is Spinal Tap.

Last Meals

So, prompted by some last-season Prison Break watching, I have been pondering the concept of one's last meal. It appears that the state of Texas used to post the last meals requested by their death row inmates online. The list can be found here. Fascinating stuff, really. The list consists of primarily hamburgers, fried chicken, and steak. Specific soda requests are common, as are ice creams.

Of course, this all makes me wonder about my own last meal. The death row inmates don't pay much regard to menu planning: pizza with stir-fried beef, chocolate cake, ice cream, broccoli, grapes, 10 quesadillas and more (Jessy San Miguel, executed in 2000).

On one hand, I'd be tempted to request pad thai, chicken paneng, Papa John's hand-tossed with pineapple, chocolate mint ice cream with york peppermint patty mixed-in, vegetable samosas, chevre cheese, nectarines and Coca-Cola. I think the above constitutes a fair representation of my favorite foods, but, for a last meal? I mean, would gorging myself on all my favored flavors give me the requisite level of satisfaction, or would I be better served by creating a real meal?

Ahh! It's an absolute nightmare. I am giving myself a headache planning my theoretical last meal.

I suspect I would enjoy an exquisitely executed (ha! puns!) last meal, but how could I turn my back on goat's cheese, or pad thai? I'm afraid I could never decide. Thus, I would end up with a massive stomach ache before my extermination, OR, the better alternative: I am never executed.

$10, 3-hour haircut

yeah, i'm pretty excited about it. whoo hoo vidal sassoon academy.

messages

So, my birth control comes with a label saying that I should not take it if I am trying to become pregnant. This is the first time I think I have gotten this particular pharmacy sticker. I wonder if the pharmacist thought that this would be an amusing addition to the "take with modest meal," "some antibiotics may lessen the effect..." and "may turn your urine funny colors," or if someone has really deemed this message necessary. I suspect it's the latter.

In other strange-message news, I am currently temping and the previous non-temp version of me was given the axe. She has two little epigrams jotted on a notepad: "You can't fail if you don't give up!" and "Never trust anyone!" Hmm.

suckas...

While the rest of you fools will be voting at libraries, schools, and other unspecial places fitting of your dull, non-Los Angeleno lives, I will be voting at the Culver Hotel.

That's right. My polling place was once owned by John Wayne, and housed the Munchkins during the filming of the Wizard of Oz.

Ha. Ha.