Thursday, February 09, 2006

When I am taken hostage

When I am taken hostage, which is highly likely since I don't even know how to use a gun at all, thus increasing the likelihood that I'll be kidnapped and unable to escape, I hope that I am strong and resolute and say things like "Never back down! Don't give into their maniacal demands" especially if their demands are more or less reasonable, like a box of Thin Mints (although they are becoming less and less reasonable every year).
This brings me to my second point, which is, I need to learn how to use a gun. Should I ever, you know, get taken hostage or end up in a horror movie. I have nightmares about staring down Freddy Krueger, trying to blow his brains out, and falling backward, thus meeting my death.
I just hope that should I ever end up in a life or death situation, my eyes turn to steel and my manner imperious.

3 comments:

Doug said...

guns are easy. making friends after you've used one not so much.

also, in response to your swearing army guys, i think you need to read less victorian lit and watch a modern army movie like 3 kings or something. people are idiots, military people doubly so.

ruth said...

hey, i don't even really like victorian lit. and the army guys in jane austen, whom i do like, are always swine. the only military fiction i do like is tim obrien, and those guys swear a lot. but then, there are rarel women present.
i should probably see 3 kings though.

DaintyDoughnuts said...

The only reason 3 Kings is worth watching is Mark Walberg. That guy is so hot its unfair.