Thursday, October 20, 2005

Terror before Coffee?

So, let me preface this by saying I am, generally speaking, cool with the military's existance and respect our underpaid soldiers.
That said, full fatigues, army boots, and big guns getting off my elevator at work (where, incidentally, I am all by myself) before I'm fully awake, absolutely terrifies me.
Now, likely they are here for some administrative purpose as there is some sort of Army office in the building. Why one of them had what I believe is called an 'assault rifle' as he walked by me while I was exiting the bathroom, I couldn't really say. Maybe it's show and tell at a local high school. However, the other guy leaving the elevator had only a cup of coffee.
I know some of my big city readers are no doubt used to a military presense; however, I am not.
But honestly, I think the issue for me is really more the fatigues than the big guns. Fatigues just seem Timothy McVeigh, who, in addition to being a huge dick, is (was? did they kill that ugly bastard?) a total dog. I prefer the Tom Cruise/Richard Gere full-dress thing. While it seems to be rarely sexy in practice, in the movies it always looks nice. And Richard Gere and Tom Cruise don't even do it for me. No, fatigues, particularly tucked into boots, give the impression of man-hips, which says to me "I am angry at the world for my genetic defect and thus am predisposed towards killing innocent people," whereas the dress uniform says "I am a strangely patriotic young man with a truly fantastic ass."
Now, tell me, which would you rather see at 9 in the morning?

2 comments:

Jenni said...

I'd take the fantastic ass

MrSKINNY said...

richard gere and tom cruise don't do it for you? hunny, its because they're homosexual.

and i am sick of the whole army-look being fetishized by the gay community. ppl in the military are assholes post 9/11.