Confession

I'm unemployed, and I spend my mornings checking the websites of the twenty-one places I've identified as worthy potential employers and periodically sending off a CV.

And watching Make It or Break It.

Yes. That is the teen gymnastics program on ABC Family. With Candace Cameron always yammering on about abstinence and God. But people are always doing flips! Off the uneven bars! And bouncing around on the floor like springs. I love it when people fly. Even if they are all stunt doubles. OK, and there is so much drama. And gymnastic competitions and backstabbing and everything that makes for exceptional teen programming. Except sex. Only evil rich girl is doing it and that's seemingly meant to be one of her myriad character flaws.

And before that, I watched Vampire Diaries. The whole first season went by and not a single person smiled. It was amazing.

I can't imagine what I would be doing if I had cable. Probably watching What Not to Wear.

Oh, and, I cry while watching Make It or Break It. Only a little, only sometimes.

Goals for the rest of the summer

1) Finish The Corrections. Which is tedious, but should be done. I am 3/4 of the way done, so best soldier on.
2) Develop an opinion about Miranda July.
3) Start working on my oft-declared goal of being about to do the splits by the time I am 30.
4) Lesson-plan. Which means doing some truly odious reading.
5) Run more than three miles. Not sure how long is reasonable to shoot for, but I did agree to train for a 10k with a friend of mine who recently had a baby. Since I've been running 2.5-3 miles on a regular basis for most of the summer, I decided to take the incentive to run longer. But I think running a race sounds like about the lamest thing on the planet, and since I've vowed never to trust people who tell me to add protein powder to anything, I doubt you, imagined reader, race runner, and protein-powder eater, could persuade me otherwise. Still, it is important to try the things you think you hate, even if that just means you end up more resolute in your contempt.
6) Eat more salad.
7) Do something fun that involves leaving Los Angeles. Probably after mi amor finishes his qualifying exams in August. And before I have to start the school year in mid-August. I suppose a weekend getaway is all we will be able to muster up. But maybe that will be the time to check out all the Gertrude Stein activity in SF.


OK, 7 seems like a reasonable number. I should probably come up with something wedding-related to do, but I'm not sure what that should be, so I won't think about it.

I win! I'm grand!

This blog is the number one search result on google for "I'm grand."

I'm thrilled. I loved it when the Irish peeps would say, "I'm grand, thanks, and you?" I loved it so much I blogged about it, and now, the internet gods have seen fit to grant me a spot at the top of the google charts.

Grandly,
Ruth

Summers actually are for reality television

1995, the summer before 8th grade. Otherwise known as the summer I spent weeks at a time watching MTV, the year of Alanis Morrisette's Jagged Little Pill & TLC's "Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls." Ahh, Buzz Clips. And the year I caught up on the first four seasons of the Real World.

Now I have about 16 years of reality television to catch up on, minus the many hours I spent in college watching Elimidate (it feels wrong to italicize that program, but I did it anyway). 

This summer has been the summer of Say Yes to the Dress, Teen Mom, and 16 & Pregnant. I see that Toddlers & Tiaras is on Netflix, too, so no doubt I'll explore that. Oh, look, I just pushed play.

And to make sure I remain high in your esteem: summers are also for reading. So far, I've read Edwidge Dandicatt's The Dew Breakers, Marilynne Robinson's Gilead, The Fug Girls' Spoiled, Kingsolver's Prodigal Summer, Morrison's Song of Solomon, the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy, and two wedding books (Offbeat Bride & Miss Manners). I'm currently reading The Corrections, and I'm pretty sure I forgot a book or two. Granted, not highest of brows on display here, but summer is not about Tristram Shandy or Paradise Lost, though last summer certainly was.

Triumph, and, a possible perk of unemployment

Just took my first run since the thyroidectomy, and it was shockingly easier than expected. I was slower than usual, but I did not find myself watching the clock (I've been following the couch to 5k plan for the last couple of months to get back in the running habit and I typically know exactly how much longer I have for each interval at any given point during my run).

For one, I was pleased to learn that I could actually run slower. I typically shuffle along, running a 9 minute mile regardless of what point I am at during my run (note-- I have never attempted to run more than 30 minutes or so and I'm sure that would change if I went on longer).  But today I only covered 2.44 miles and it took 35 minutes-- 18 minutes of running and 17, walking. Usually I'd squeeze nearly an extra mile out of that time. Alas, I ran slowly with nary and it was easy and pleasant, so I'm happy.

But best of all was the fact that I contentedly listened to the podcast without looking at my iPod every 30 seconds. This I attribute to the aforementioned unemployment. Yesterday I baked this apple cake and was startled when the timer went off after 20 minutes, having felt only a few of those pass. Today I ran my first 5 minute interval without looking at my iPod even once. Okay, I looked once but that was in amazement when I realized I had to be almost done. And I was.


Whoa.

A life update

So, apparently it's been over a year since I updated this blog. How bizarre.

I started a wedding planning tumblr. Yes, Bill and I are engaged. After 11 years of dating, and 7 of cohabitation. Despite our long ago commitment to each other, it is exciting.

Not sure what the point of resuscitating this blog is, exactly. Probably there is no point, except that I am under-programmed these days and have plenty of free time. Do I have any readers left? Will this show up on someone's RSS or whatever? Who knows!

Alas, I felt the urge to update. I got engaged, finished my master's, and got my thyroid out all in under a month. That month came to a close last Monday. Now I am effectively unemployed-- or at least, massively under-employed.

And I have my first job interview on Monday. And I realized, when pondering what to wear, that the suit I have was purchased in 2005, that I haven't gone on a job interview since 2007. So this weekend, I will figure out what to wear (not the suit-- it's too big now, anyway).

I wish I had not made this realization, as between 2004 and 2007, I went on dozens of interviews. I was a pro. Until I realized I hadn't had one in over four years, I felt pretty relaxed about the whole endeavor.

Alas, now I must put together an outfit, one that involves a scarf (which is itself a challenge) and thus disguises the falling off and crusty Steristrips that cover my surgical wound. Wish me luck.

Disease!

Fascinating update follows:

I have been fighting a cold or something for the past week or so, and I have not yet fallen ill! Hooray? I might ultimately win the battle if I avoided staying up late drinking, but what if the fruity rum drinks loaded with Vitamin C are helping? Mysteries!

Time, motivation.

I am in the midst of a two-week long break after returning from holiday travel and before heading back to school after MLK Day, and now I am growing majorly antsy. The first few days were tolerable-- I had to take care of various issues (a traffic ticket, for which I went to court in hopes of avoiding the $500 fine-- which I did, I got 31 hours of community service instead), unpacking, cleaning, making Bill buy new clothes, listing things I want to get rid of on eBay, paying bills, doing laundry, going to the library, etc. Now, however, I am done with chores and I have over a week of time to occupy! Time during which I should probably avoid spending money (since I don't really make any), and should use make lesson plans, exercise, reorganize my crap in the bedroom, and do community service.
Alas, my motivation to do these things is... lacking. I'm curious about the community service-- I've been assigned to do clerical work at a residential rehab clinic down the street (fascinating!), I'm looking forward to re-reading The Things They Carried before teaching it this spring, and I really do want to exercise and accelerate the disappearance of the 3 lbs Santa brought this year. I've had success getting myself to yoga twice this week, but I cannot bring myself to go on a run. When I'm in the habit of running, it's no big deal to bind up the bosoms and take to the streets, but when I've been on a hiatus (I probably haven't run in a month or even more!), I just cannot talk myself into it.
I really just want to go out-- visit the new goodwill bookstore, go shopping, hang out with friends, go to the movies, etc etc etc. But the only thing I need to do that involves going out is doing community service, which sounds kind of interesting but also like something they'll want me to do for several hours at a time and I'm not sure I have the attention span for that.
As I've long suspected, free time doesn't especially agree with me.

Changes!

Fall has finally come to Los Angeles, and I am positively euphoric about it. Made soup last weekend (chicken sausage, garbanzo bean and veggies) and will make some more tomorrow (beef with barley). It's not that cold--highs in the 70s--so I am enjoying sleeping with the windows open, burrowed under the down comforter. Walking to the farmers' market on Tuesday, I was practically skipping with joy about the weather. And then I remembered that the tomatoes I bought the week prior kind of sucked. Ah well. The one good thing about summer has come to an end.

Teaching freshman composition is more fun than I could have imagined. Most days, I am nearly giddy after teaching-- it's such a rush. It's hard, but I love working with freshmen and their writing. I'm already rethinking whether or not I want to return to academic publishing as I had planned post-MA.

Visits, Adventure, Etc.

Just got home from a road-trip with my guy-- visited family and friends in Utah, Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, and Missouri. Drove through Nevada and Wyoming, and little corners of Arizona and Iowa. I really enjoyed all the wide open spaces and dramatic landscapes, something I sorely miss in Los Angeles. And of course, all the family and friends. In fact, I saw all but a few members of my family. I visited with: both brothers, both parents, my sole remaining grandparent (maternal grandfather, age 92!) plus my step-grandmother (his wife of 13 years), all four of my cousins, five of their six offspring, and both of my uncles. Plus bunches of Bill's family. It was nice-- I really enjoy my family, and it was nice to visit by road trip, which takes the pressure off quite a bit. A few days of family, followed by a day in the car listening to audiobooks (Sarah Vowell, best ever) really does the body good.

Wednesday, my graduate school adventure begins!

The Joys of Unemployment

Oh, friends, let me tell you how delightful I am finding unemployment.

I spent 11 days in the New Jersey/Pennsylvania/NYC area and saw friends and family, the Pennsylvania Dutch, and the trashiest place known to mankind (the Wildwood boardwalk). There is a reason so many reality show contestants come from the Jerz.

Then, back to LA, where I have gone to yoga, to the beach in the middle of the day on bicycle, to a movie at mid-day, to San Diego to drink beer and look at animals, and so on. I've read three books, and I've seen my first episode of Ellen. It's especially fun as Bill is in a less intense school period so we can have even more fun than usual!

The new economy

So today I am using my work time to read the archives of Chowhound's Table Manners, and I am now back in the 2007s. In case you think I am overly slothful, I will note that I am skimming and not reading every column. I am also getting laid off next month and working on an incredibly annoying project, so I suppose I am not highly motivated.

It is interesting to see the advice given back in those more prosperous times. I just read a column where we were told that brown-bagging it at work will damage your career, and another that stated taking your leftovers home from a date or a business meal is a major no-no. Granted, I work in an office where restaurants are inaccessible so most people brown-bag it. And as someone that endeavors to fiscal and environmental responsibility, I can't bear to see food go to waste. In either case, I can't imagine an advice columnist giving similar advice now.

The Pleasure of the Layoff

Friends, I have volunteered to be laid off. We are letting something like 14% of the staff go, 20% in my department, and one of them will be me. I am glad of this, as it means that I will be spending my summer before graduate school getting paid and yet not going to work. Great news.

However, Bill will be at home mostly, deep within his own graduate work, and I won't lie, my summer presence is not thrilling to Bill. Apparently, I will serve as a distraction. He has even suggested taking me to daycare.

So, I am now excitedly planning my summer activities.

There are a couple of LA presses that I think I will contact about interning with;
I will sign up for at least one month's worth of unlimited yoga and become a bona fide yogini;
I will use all of my grown-up connections to score house/pet/plant/baby-sitting gigs;
I will visit friends and family in the following cities: Allentown and Philadelphia, PA; Clinton and Somerset, NJ; New York City, NY;
I will make a significant dent in my comprehensive exam reading list;
I will register to be an extra and hope to spend the day standing around on set;
I will continue to explore southern California;
I will sell random crap and too-big clothes on eBay.

I think that sums it up, although I am sure I will come up with many more goals and activities for my unemployed summer!!

Buying books

So, I've been killing my considerable downtime at work these days reading a blog, The Non-Consumer Advocate. Basically, a blog about living extremely frugally. She goes so far as to buy nothing new but consumables, and she drastically limits her purchase of those, too. I like to think I do pretty well with making responsible shopping decisions, but I know I could do much better. Hence these thrift-minded posts.

Anyway, I mostly buy used books. And I'm not talking the "like new" books found used on Amazon. I am talking 25¢ books at thrift stores and library book sales. I am usually content to choose my next book from a stack of acquired books of interest, rather than seeking out a specific title. Plus, last year I had the great fortune to attend BookExpo America, where I got dozens of advances that I am still working through. So, I almost never buy new books. And while the Kindle excites me on an intellectual and professional level, I personally shudder at the idea of spending $10 per book with no escape.

But... I work in book publishing! I love books, and I want writers to be compensated for their work. I do feel some guilt about my book-thrift (hence this post), but certainly not enough to buy new on principle, as some of my colleagues do. Plus, when I love a book, I buy new copies for gifts.

The Frugality vs. Living Balance

As a few of you know, this fall will find me heading back to school. Which means that Bill and I will go from living on a paltry non-profit salary and a meager grad student fellowship to a meager grad fellowship and an even-more-meager grad student fellowship. In a very expensive city.

So, I am thinking hard about what cuts I can make, especially now that I still have a steady income (knock on wood) that covers my basic needs with room for a (very) little extra. I consider myself a fairly thrifty person. I am an awesome budget shopper, at least when it comes to clothes (seriously, I dare you to find someone better), but I've become that way mainly to compensate for my recreational shopping habit. So yes, I rarely spend more than $15 on shoes, but I spend that $15 a lot more than I should.

I am a value-conscious grocery shopper, but I admit that I will spend a few extra dollars on some cheeses that perhaps don't belong in the refrigerator of someone with my means. In general, I feel proud of my financial acumen-- after all, I don't have credit card debt, I've never defaulted on my student loans, and I contribute to my 401k (although so far that hasn't paid off).

However, I like to eat out, have a few drinks, go shopping, travel, go to events, take yoga classes, etc. I took a financially ill-advised but unforgettable trip to Peru last year (that I paid off a few months later). I don't really want to give up those experiences, but I do think it's time I figure out a way to manage my spending and cut it back.

I'm not sure how I want to manage that-- I think a more strict budget is in order. I'm toying with the idea of moving to a cash-based existence-- maybe ditch the credit/debit cards-- and give myself a weekly cash allowance? I love my credit card rewards but I think might be a good idea to get out of the habit of charging all of my groceries (even if I pay the bill in full). I have to say, the idea of rejecting dinner or drinks with a friend because it doesn't fit into my budget seems like a strange and horrible concept, but I think it's the only way I can get through the next two years.

Infrequent readers, how do you budget?

Diet

Yep, I am on a diet. I have decided to blog about it. Here.

Harumph, family

For those of you that do not know my younger brother, Nathan, and do not read his blog...I will share with you his reply to my question about what he might like for Christmas:

"knowledge, recordings of argentine folklore (that's music), a book you'd think I'd like or graffiti, things vampire related, a knife of the maximum legal size.""you may teach me a difficult skill you have in lieu of a present.but you graduated from liberal arts college so I am not sure you have any."

Anyway, now you see how hard my life is. Also, I've been sick since I posted about toilet seat covers... the revenge of the germs?

$3.99 I'm going out of my mind.

A few weeks ago I did two things in the wine aisle of Whole Foods that I try never to do: buy wines that cost less than $7 (because then you can't just grab something from the rack to take to a friend's house) and buy wines because the label is cute (because that's embarrassing).

But this label was so cute, and not cute like penguins! Just a tiny smidge of tasteful cuteness that suggests a real wine for real grown-ups.

See?

And, it's $3.99. However, you probably don't think it's cute, and Bill already said it tastes "interesting."

See also my messy counter? Stop judging. I swear the wine is good.

Holidays!

I don't like this late Thanksgiving, it makes the rest too cluttered. Only a few weeks, for instance, to buy Candy Cane Joe-Joes.

My coming weekends are full, and I don't know when I will find the time to make cookies, or for elaborate truffle-making projects like last year. Which is probably for the best, because though my truffles were tasty, they were not especially attractive (fine motor skills are not my forte), nor were they cheaper than the store-bought kind.

Yes, I am distressed because there is simply not enough time for holiday eating* this year. What of it?


*Please note, I did spend a full 40 minutes at the gym today, exercising. That must buy me several pounds of stilton and chocolate.

Against Toilet Seat Covers

I do not believe that toilet seat covers do anything, save soothe the neuroses of germ-a-phobes, create unnecessary waste, and perhaps clog toilets.

When I hear the rustle made by these immaterial materials, I think unkind thoughts about your evident disregard for the earth, your sexual proclivities, and your mental capabilities.

Did you miss the day in the 3rd grade when we talked about how itty-bitty bacteria is? Do you think paper you can see through keeps your bits safe? Would you consider wrapping a dick in tissue paper to be a step up from going bareback? If you are surrounded by ants, do you think putting up a chain link fence might help keep them away? Do you hate trees, or perhaps your plumber?

The answer, my friends, is "no." No to substituting a colander for a goldfish bowl and no to toilet seat covers.